Culture and mourning: how traditions, memories and bonds shape grief

Grief is not just emotion: it is culture and relationships

When we talk about grief, we immediately think of sadness, pain and emotional loss. But suffering from the death of a loved one is also a cultural and social experience: the way we remember, honour and continue to live our relationship with those who have passed away is strongly influenced by the traditions, ritual practices and shared meanings in our community.

This is the focus of the scientific article 'Culture and grief: Ethnographic perspectives on ritual, relationships and remembering' by Gila S. Silverman, Aurélien Baroiller and Susan R. Hemer, an anthropological review that explores grief through ethnographic studies in different parts of the world.

The role of rituals: giving shape to grief

Every culture has its own funeral rituals, ways of commemorating the deceased, ceremonies and practices that accompany mourning. These rituals are not mere formalities: they are symbolic tools that help those experiencing grief to:

• recognise the reality of loss
• create a bridge between the past and the present
• give a 'place' to what can no longer be physically present
• honour the bond by continuing to remember in a shared way

In many societies, death does not mark an absolute end, but a transition that maintains a relationship between the living and the dead through memory, prayers, collective gestures and commemorations.

This tells us something important: it is not only inner pain that matters, but the way in which the community helps to contain and transform that pain.

Relationships and continuity: beyond physical absence

One of the most interesting elements that emerges from the ethnographic approach is the idea that human relationships do not end with death. In many cultures, the deceased retain a role in the lives of those left behind, not as ghostly presences, but as figures connected to the network of affection and memory.

The deceased person continues to 'live' in stories, rituals, food prepared in their name, visits to the cemetery or significant places. Even when the pain is strong, these practices allow us to maintain a connection with the deceased, transforming it into a narrative and relational form.

Mourning and culture: shared norms and common meanings

Culture provides the stories, symbols and rules that help people interpret grief and make sense of it. In some societies, mourning is expressed openly, with collective functions lasting days or weeks. In others, grief is more private and contained.

These differences are not trivial: they profoundly influence how those who have suffered a loss perceive themselves, communicate their grief and receive support from others. Cultural norms can in fact:

• facilitate emotional expression and sharing
• shape the interpretation of grief (e.g. as a trial to be endured, a rite of passage, a spiritual transformation)
• define what is 'appropriate' or not in terms of crying, not crying or social participation

An important implication is that there is no single right way to deal with grief, but many respectable forms that are consistent with each person's cultural context.

Remembering and forgetting: narratives of grief

In the cultures listed in ethnographic studies, not only rituals but also the stories we tell about our deceased play a crucial role. Remembering is not simply evoking a face: it is recounting shared meanings, integrating loss into personal and collective narratives, and building a bond that is not imprisoned by suffering.

In many communities, there are ritual forms of remembering and forgetting, not to erase, but to orient memory so that it becomes nourishing, rather than just painful.

Why this matters for those who are grieving today

Much contemporary grief, such as that experienced during global crises or migrations, occurs in contexts where traditional practices are disrupted or unavailable. The lack of rituals, social sharing or a shared narrative can make grief more difficult to integrate into daily life.

This research reminds us that:

• grief is not a purely individual phenomenon
• the way we relate to death is shaped by cultural values, customs and symbols
• creating or rediscovering shared practices (even those adapted to one's own context) can promote healthier grieving

In other words: we are not alone in our grief, but are part of human networks that can help to support, remember and transform grief.

Conclusion

The anthropology of grief invites us to look beyond individual emotional pain and consider rituals, cultures, relationships and ways of remembering as integral parts of the grieving experience. This does not diminish the value of grief, but frames it in a broader perspective that includes the social and symbolic context in which we live, love and lose.

If you are experiencing loss, it may be helpful to think about which rituals and narratives enhance your connection to the person you have lost: not to close the chapter, but to honour them in ways that also give meaning to your own life journey.

Bibliographic source: Silverman, G.S., Baroiller, A. & Hemer, S.R. (2021). Culture and grief: Ethnographic perspectives on ritual, relationships and remembering. Death Studies, 45(1), 1–8. DOI: 10.1080/07481187.2020.1851885